So....how is it gonna be?

How is it gonna be?
Should I go home to visit my gramma?
Feeling guilty (agaiiiin....), sometimes i think that i never sincerely visit her. The last time i visited her because i wanted to go to see art festival with my friend yolla.....hahahaha....
And now, i doubt that i would go home only to visit her because in my mind poisoned with curiosity i want to make sure what that psychic said the other day. What a thought...
Anyway...i don't think that i can go home, because i have been in jakarta (work) less than a year meaning that i don't have the right for furlough. Damn....

Hocus Pocus....Wingardium Leviosa....

My gramma is very ill at the moment. Basically my gramma is a diabetic and suffers from high blood pressure. A couple of months ago she complained that her stomach hurt and it turned up that she suffers from kidney failure.. and doctors said there’s nothing that we can do about it. Not even massive surgery. Stupid doctor.
My mom has the most beautiful hand in the world. Those hands fed me when I was a child, hold me when I cried, bathed me when I was covered with dirt, spanked my butt when I was bad, and combed my hair every morning before I went to school. Now, those hands feed my gramma, hold my gramma’s hand when she cries, comb her hair and bathe her every morning.
My mother still takes my gramma to the hospital twice a week for blood transfusion and etc. although we know what the doctor said. She does not give up trying.
Yet the point is a couple of days ago my mom went to see a psychic. She was asking about her condition and what the psychic told her was that my gramma would pass away next week, on July 12th. HOW SPOOKY IS THAT?
Not spooky because it concerns about death, but spooky because if what he said was true, it means that he somehow can predict the future. Well. At least in that case. And he said that there were two men who stood in front of my gramma’s bed room door wanting to take “something” out of her ear. Soon after the psychic left our house, my gramma who was sleeping in the other room said that she wanted her ear to be cut off. Crazy world…..
My mom, worrying about her daughter who might not get married because of her complicated job (that’s me…), apparently still had the extra time to ask that man about my future husband! I thought it was silly but still….I believe that curiosity is the weakness of human kind and indeed I fell into it again. To make the story short, he said that my soul matey is my co-worker..! What the….??!!
He MUST be joking..! Would I marry somebody from work? Pliiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz, NO. Meaning that I would not marry Bunny???!!! Or Damian maybe?!..which I still think so much about.. Damn…why can I just forget him…??!! I am cursed. I know it. Speaking of Damian and my silly browsing hobby, I found that Damian means sweet and harmless. CUTE...

Happy ...Three...Friends...

Despite the fact that i'm very sleepy right now, and despite the fact that i really really really want to go home right now, also despite the fact that i want to have a week off for my self window shopping hehehe..... I actually can prevent my self from all temptations....(yeaaah right !)
Today is a pretty pretty happy day...not much of work to do..hahahahahaha, and i can eat something new for mijn lunch instead of meat balls. Mmy friends get confused sometimes why i always eat meatballs in the cafetaria.. Well, it's simple...nothing else delicious for me...
Anyway...i felt a bit guilty today (hate that when it happens !) to the political councellor of the embassy of india. Uuhm....why do we have to use "of" so often? I could just write the embassy of india's councellor right???? Anyway, i felt a bit guilty because i didn't give him satisfactory answer regarding india's candidacy in WCO. But, that's government calls dear.... what can i do about it..??
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING???!!!!! I must not talk about my job here !!!!!! Stupid Sasa. But, instead of publish it i could just erase it and voila..! Yet, considering the fact that i have been spending my precious working time to write in my blog...what the heck..i publish it anyway....haha

Vergadering a.k.a Meeting

what to be prepared:

1. subject of interest
2. date, time, and venue
3. venue booking
4. invitation letter
5. invitation letter's revision I
6. invitation letter's revision II
7. invitation letter's revision III
8. invitation letter's revision IV
9. director's signature
10. address book, yellow pages, name cards, files
11. fax machine
12. dedicated thumb
13. snack order
14. telephone
15. 24 hours open eyes

Weet je waar damian is?

Benci a.k.a Hatred

My hatred has been decided by the panel meeting. There's a case on a mix marriage between an Indonesian female diplomat and a foreign citizen. Don't have to mentioned the names. It's already too painful for 'em, no need to add more.
The fact that i post this opinion of mine, not merely because i my self has a foreign citizen boy friend but more because i find the excuse to "discourage" (that is the term they use) female diplomat to have mix marriage is somewhat ridiculous. I'm not saying that what has been said about it is not true but it was more like adding some things to make your report to your boss longer. Unnecessary. I've done that my self...frankly speaking. It happens.
Anyway.... the fact that i cannot talk about it openly is killing me. The fact that i can post it where people can read it makes me nervous. What the heck..
Here's more or less what they say about the case (that might happen to me one day):
1. from human rights point of view, they cannot forbid anybody to get marry to somebody they love, which Ii completely agree.
2. from legal point of view, mix marriage between female diplomat and foreigner cannot be executed (what a term..) because of 2 regulations. First by the foreign ministry. Employees of foreign ministry have to ask permission to the minister meaning that the minister has the power to agree or disagree. Second, considering the Marriage regulation in Indonesia which gives difficult choices for woman who marry foreigners. Either to let go her nationality because automatically she would have her husband citizenship, bearing in mind that my beloved country does not recognize dual citizenship, or make her future husband to have naturalization, which is not as easy as push the one touch washing machine button.
3. from security point of view, diplomat execute both open and secret activities which require sense of awareness. Some concern that having mix marriage, female diplomat would not be able to do her tasks well. (A discriminating statement i would say... How about male diplomat? would they always do their job well so that they can have mix marriage?)
With lots of emotion building up inside me, i say that the main point of this delicate problem is merely because of patriarchy.

Me vs Sammy

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people
I Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home

Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home (MICHAEL BUBLE)

I miss you Sammy....

One of my boring day.....

Boring is:

feel sleepy with lots of works to do, need to go to places when the sun is at its hotest,get no sms at all, internet down all day, no snack on your desk,

longing to go home...

special day........really...

Hehe...another kilo....sukses nee kayaknya...hopefully...

Anyway..this morning i was in a heart breaking dilemma..ck..ck..ck... How couldn't I? I was sitting in a bus on my way to work and the bus was full of people like usual monday morning. And, an old woman with her son in law, i think, and with her grandson standing all the way to mayhem...ck..ck..ck.. I usually sleep the minute i get into the bus, but this morning somehow was special...and i cursed my self for not being sleepy at all..!$#&&***#?

I was like "ok mam, give me 15 minutes to enjoy this seat"..kinda hoping for the others to give their seats instead of mine. But people are not stupid you know. I think they were playing possum hahaha.. So, there goes my 15 minutes of pleasure. It was just a seat but if you take a bus every day, then you would realize how precious a seat can be for you..even if you only get a very tiny spot for your big but.

Soooo.................it was monday morning, very crowded monday morning, like all mondays and i stupidly gave away my seat for her. Thanks to my easily feeling guilty, i took her place standing all the way to mayhem.

But then...i kinda relieved to give the seat, because her grandson threw up....Uhm....if only i chose to seat there and let the boy being held by his father standing next to me, i think those greeny things would be on my lap by now.....(not really pleasing imagination...)

This morning was special.....for God did not want me to ruin my new shirt.... ;)

Beyond my imagination...

Beyond my imagination,...
that's what i have been saying to my self lately.
It struck my heart knowing that what i have been dreaming of, what i have been hoping for, what i have been wishing for...
slowly slipping away...

miu..miu...

Uhmm......what to do, what to do....
I'm at work and still caught up with the translation of the ratification of the UPU constitution ck..ck..ck.. apaan tuh... Tomorrow i have to attend this meeting discussing the right translation...hihi...i hate that... I mean i know i have to, but the most annoying meeting would be correcting word by word....[feel sleepy already.....]

Today is gonna be the day....

Hari ini senang sekali.... kerjaan lumayan dikit..hihi...banyak sih, tapi gak numpuk-numpuk gituh kayak biasanya... Terus, internet jalan, gak macet kayak yang laen..hihi.. Terus, aku gak jadi piket karena gak jadi nglembur ama mas koba ngurusin kontribusi...hihi..emang enaaak... Terus, turun sekilo lagi..hihi... walo gak kayak kemaren yang bisa 2 kilo... Terus, weekend kemaren aku sendirian..hihi... jadi bisa tidur ampe malem... Walo akhirnya daku bt sendiri semalem karena kebanyakan tidur jadi gak bisa tidur... Pokoknya, today is gonna be the day when i smile all the way.... amien...

Uhm...........miscellaneous..

At work...as usual... (10.46 am)

Mau ngomongin apa ya?...bingung...actually there are lots of things to talk about but it's like suddenly you forget everything that you already pile up in your head. Or...perhaps it only happens to me..? Uhm...ginkgo biloba....
Anyway....sepertinya pembahasan mengenai duit seakan tiada akhir...maklumlah daku kan suka ngungkit-ngungkit masalah gituuuh..hehe...selain memang mata duitan...halah...
Tau nggak sih (pasti nggak..) jumat kemaren kan daku pulang ampe jam 12 malem tuuuh...thanks to perpisahannya pak dirjen m2. Terus karena bt di jalan, daku sms sendal jepit. SENDAL JEPIT gitu loooh... Padahal kan daku gak pernah akur ama dia..haha.. Eh tapi berguna juga aku sms sendal jepit. Karena networking will never fail boo... Apaan sih nee...gara-gara masuk deplu terus networking mulu omongannya... Masih untung daku gak ngomongin pencalonan ma kontribusi haiyaaa....
Anyhow.... aku jadi pengen marah...or lebih tepatnya nyesek tanpa bisa berkata-kata. Gimana gak mau marah...? Nenekku dah bolak-balik kayak setrikaan ke rumah sakit, abis 31 jt, cuma mamaku doank yang ngurusin...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pada ke mana sih orang-orang? Ato mungkin aku aja yang nggak tau kalo my aunts juga bantuin? Tapinya,kenapa coba..kenapa ...................................???? (kenapa apanya nih?). Kalo emang bantuin, kenapa mamaku masih kesusahan..? Masih minjem duit anaknya? Anaknya sih nggak keberatan sama sekali. Mari berandai-andai.... Seandainya aku punya duit 1 milyar ato 100 juta aja..nggak bakalan aku rela nyokapku yang bayarin semuanya.
Mana kang Sam pake bilang aku nggak usah nagihin utang orang lagee. Enak aja....orang namanya utang dan janji bayar ya harus dibayar donk ah.
Pokoknya sekarang mau ngumpulin uang yang banyak, biar kalo mama butuh aku bisa ngasih..