At Work...

This is what happen at work....
(turn on the computer, double click logitech quickcam, pose, smile, cheers....., save as.., open www.photobucket.com, copy..., www.blogger.com, paste..., publish)



I love working hours... hehehe...

Mijn Definitie van Knap

Dit is mijn definitie van knap.... erg knap.... ;)

Secret Heart...

secret heart
what are you made of
what are you so afraid of
could it be
three simple words
all the fear of bein' overheard
what's wrong little man
ah a secret heart

secret heart
why so mysterious
why so sacred
why so serious
maybe you're just acting tough
or maybe you're just not man enough
what's wrong little man
oh your secret heart

this very secret
that you're tryin' to conceal
is the very same one
that you're dying to reveal
go tell 'em how you feel

secret heart
come on and share it
this loneliness few can bear it
could it have something to do with
admitting that you just can't go through it alone
little man
oh your secret heart

this very secret
that you're trying to conceal
is the very same one that you're dying to reveal
go tell 'em how you feel
this very secret heart
go out and share it

-- Feist --

My Gramma

My gramma passed away last saturday
and i didn't cry for i had let her go long time ago when she was in so much pain from kidney failure.
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i didn't had the chance to tell her i love her.
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i miss her telling story
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i miss her already
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i think it is best that way.

Veronika Jumirah
in memoriam

Damian

Out of no where...persistent yet sweet guy. I had no feeling what so ever when i first met him. In fact i wanted to get the hell out of there thanks to my "don't talk to stranger" kinda way of thinking. I thought that he was just some guy who like to flirt. Giving him my mobile number was just part of the chit chat. I was hoping that he would not call me but he DID ! and he asked me out. I did not know exactly why i said yes, probably because i wanted to be polite. I don't really like to hang out, so it was and is hard to drag me out of my house... :) But..... i had a good time. Although i thought that he was too soon to say "I love you". I'm sort of the slow slow slow type... I mean no need to rush something that perhaps already arranged by the Almighty, if HE did arrange it. I really was not attracted to him. We just met once, and calls after calls began to cheered up my nights. I don't have to tell the details but to make story short, i think i hurt him by not seeing him in the airport, never told him what i felt, didn't give him the chance to ??? ...etc..etc...etc...
Going back to indonesia, all i could think of was Damian. I thought by sending him emails about what i felt for him was a good idea but turned up that it could only hurt him more. Stupid Sasa.

I told him that there are so many obstacles on my side..my job, my nationality hahaha...etc... but i don't think that help too. Now, what bothers me the most is how he felt about that. I really want to ask him but i'm scared that i would hurt him again .... and again.... and again.... I told him that i might regret my decision, and i think i am...but it's just too complicated... i don't even know how to find the solution.

I want to hear his voice again, i miss hearing it. I miss getting emails from him. I miss his presistence. I miss everything about him. I even wonder a lot about the feelings to be with him. Damn Sasa...

But now, i don't know whether after all these things, after all that i've done, he would want to at least send me a short message. I don't know whether he would want me to be at least one of his far away friend that he ever met.

Do i miss him that much? Yes...
But i don't think he wants to hear from me again... My fault.