Damian

Out of no where...persistent yet sweet guy. I had no feeling what so ever when i first met him. In fact i wanted to get the hell out of there thanks to my "don't talk to stranger" kinda way of thinking. I thought that he was just some guy who like to flirt. Giving him my mobile number was just part of the chit chat. I was hoping that he would not call me but he DID ! and he asked me out. I did not know exactly why i said yes, probably because i wanted to be polite. I don't really like to hang out, so it was and is hard to drag me out of my house... :) But..... i had a good time. Although i thought that he was too soon to say "I love you". I'm sort of the slow slow slow type... I mean no need to rush something that perhaps already arranged by the Almighty, if HE did arrange it. I really was not attracted to him. We just met once, and calls after calls began to cheered up my nights. I don't have to tell the details but to make story short, i think i hurt him by not seeing him in the airport, never told him what i felt, didn't give him the chance to ??? ...etc..etc...etc...
Going back to indonesia, all i could think of was Damian. I thought by sending him emails about what i felt for him was a good idea but turned up that it could only hurt him more. Stupid Sasa.

I told him that there are so many obstacles on my side..my job, my nationality hahaha...etc... but i don't think that help too. Now, what bothers me the most is how he felt about that. I really want to ask him but i'm scared that i would hurt him again .... and again.... and again.... I told him that i might regret my decision, and i think i am...but it's just too complicated... i don't even know how to find the solution.

I want to hear his voice again, i miss hearing it. I miss getting emails from him. I miss his presistence. I miss everything about him. I even wonder a lot about the feelings to be with him. Damn Sasa...

But now, i don't know whether after all these things, after all that i've done, he would want to at least send me a short message. I don't know whether he would want me to be at least one of his far away friend that he ever met.

Do i miss him that much? Yes...
But i don't think he wants to hear from me again... My fault.