Mataharigirlz

Damian

2007-04-27T15:36:00.000+07:00

Ik vind je aardig..

Dedicated to Jesus

2007-01-19T14:44:00.000+07:00

Dear sweet Jesus,

How are you doing today? I hope I find You well despite your always busy days taking care of us down here. Thanks to You I am doing fine like always. I am sure that You already know what I am going to tell You (to ask You to be exact). People pray to You to ask You for something they want or to thank You for something You've done for them. That's what people agreed to do. We are taught for so long to come to You in needs. Yet sometimes, I think and say to myself, why should I talk to you for something that I want or for something that I need to thank You when You already know what's in my heart and what's on my mind.
Sometimes I feel that it's useless talking to You, since You already know what I am going say. Anyway Jesus, as I am trying to be part of the society, I talk to You occasionally. Or rarely to be precise. I'm truly sorry if I have singled You out and hardly be Your company when You feel lonely. Do You feel loneliness?

Uh…, anyway.. Since You know everything more than I do, You know that's not why I really want to talk about. I want to talk about something else. As You know, I had IELTS test last week for ADS. It was not bad, but to me it was not good either. As an English letters graduate, I felt so stupid. But, I was a bit relieved when one of my friends whose training program was in Oz said that he met some ADS grantees whose English were not as good as he thought. And now my heart's fast beat goes to the interview next week.

Ow, what the heck.. You know what I want Jesus. You know that it is my desire to be one of those grantees this year. Do You think that I would make it? I hope I would. But then again, who am I to ask?

Sometimes I feel that I do not deserve asking you anything. You've given me a lot and I haven't thank You enough. Sometimes I think that its' not my right to ask You, even for a very tiny favor because I'm just a small fragment, a very tiny dot from the whole dots seen from Your place. But then again, to call such thing about myself seems to be unfair to You because You have created me and granted me with wonderful life. I would also underestimate Your work since I am part of "human being corps", what so called as one of Your perfect creations.

Sometimes at night, I really want to ask You to just grant me with my wish and fly me to the Netherlands with Stuned or to Oz with APS or ADS. I think I did ask You for the first two. But as I recall, You did not give me the green light. Well, I am not saying that I blame You for that. Sometimes I'm mad at You because You did not give me what I want even when I think I have asked You for positive things. But then again, I said to my self that You know what is best for me more than I do. So why bother blaming You? Perhaps I misunderstood You. Surely You would not bestow upon me any catastrophe.

So, even what I really want to ask You is to granting me with the scholarship to Oz this year, I guess it's better that I ask You to guide me through the rest and carry me when I'm down, like the way You always do. For I know, no matter what You decide, it would certainly best for me.

Yours truly,
Sasa

I dreamed of Kenya (The Last Stand)

2006-11-21T11:07:00.000+07:00

Begitulah kira-kira,
Hari demi hari berlalu dengan kertas demi kertas, laporan demi laporan, makanan demi makanan, foto demi foto, sms demi sms, shilling demi shilling pun cuman numpang lewat dompet doank hihihihihi.

Akhir kata,
hari terakhir sidang langsung nyamperin bandara deh dianter pak harli.
pulang.....

I dreamed of Kenya (part Deux)

2006-11-14T22:10:00.000+07:00

Wuiih, akhirnya setelah seminggu, sempet juga jalan-jalan. Hari minggu kemaren kita ber empat belas pergi maen-maen ke Danau Nakuru yang mana adalah merupakan satu bagian yang tidak terpisahkan dari Nakuru National Park (opo tho....).

Kita kumpul di Wisma Duta jam 7 pagi dan sarapan dulu tentunyah. Perjalanan ke Nakuru waktu itu cuma dan hanya cuma tiga jam saja. Mengapa tiga jam itu cuma dan hanya cuma? Soalnya kalo bapak’e travel itu tidak ngebut di aspal yang berloebang-loebang, pastilah kita nyampe Nakuru 5 jam kemudian. Buset dah itu mobil Matatu jalannya kenceng abis. Pernah nggak maen ke supermarket ato ke mall terus ada liat alat olah raga yang seperti ikat pinggang membuat kita bergetar-getar bak penyanyi dangdut si dada getar? Naaah... waktu si Matatu itu ngebut, rasanya badan daku bergetar-getar begitu looh. Sempet tengsin jugah, tapi ternyata mas Afwandi yang sama ndutnya bergetar-getar juga kikikikikik...

By the way, Matatu itu sebetulnya sebutan buat mikrolet di sana dan karena jenis mobil yang dipake ke Nakuru sama modelnya sama tuh angkot, jadinya kita sebut matatu juga. Sampe di Nakuru kira-kira jam sepuluh pagi. Banyak ketemu sodara di sana. Ada monyet, ada kebo air, ada jerapah, ada zebra, ada badak, ada kancil, ada raja singa (he..?), ada burung-burung, ada banyak deh pokoknya. Tujuan utama ke sana sebetulnya mau liat flamingoes yang lagi ngetem di danau Nakuru, tapi kok ya apes, nggak direstui jalan2 pake uang negara eh rakyat hehehe... . Aer danau nya lagi surut dan flamingoes nya lagi migrasi ke Uganda dan baru balik beberapa bulan lagi (jauh amat yah..).

Seharian kita muterin taman nasional Nakuru. Luas bangeeeeet deh. Bener-bener berasa di Afrika (hello...where have you been gitu looh..dah seminggu kok ya baru berasa di Afrikah). Akhirnya perjalanan diakhiri dengan makan siang di hotel sana, terus pulang deh. Ampe wisma dah jam tujuh malem, waktunya makan lagi kikikik. Bener-bener bak menggarami air laut alias menyuburkan badan yang sudah subur hehe..

Malam berlalu, detak jam tik tok tik tok barengan sama aer hujan. Nggak berasa dah pagi lagi, dingin lagi, males mandi lagi, are panas cuman anget-anget nggak kukuuu deh... yaaah, sidang lagi deh.

to be continued...

I dreamed of Kenya... (Judul yang nggak banget..)

2006-11-11T20:01:00.000+07:00

Hm….

Nggak nyangka bisa pergi ke Afrika. Kalo nggak karena kerjaan ya karena apa lagi yak? Tabungan masih jauh dari ongkos keliling dunia hehehe… Jadi ceritanya, di sini lagi ada Sidang UNFCCC (baca: United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change) dan daku ketiban durian-durian yang berguguran dengan manisnya.

Anyway…

Berangkat ke Kenya itu ribet jugah, walopun sebetulnya nggak harus ribet. Yang katanya harus suntik Meningitis ama Yellow Fever ternyata udah nggak perlu lagi. Udah ada tuh di bandara Jomo Kenyatta tulisan gede-gede nggak perlu lagi vaksinasi yellow fever. Lah why o why ya, waktu itu jauh-jauh pergi ke bandara Halim menghabiskan 300 ribu rupiah buat cubitan yang gak berasa apapun, ... ck… kecewah..

Kemaren itu berangkat dari Jakarta tanggal 4 November 2006 barengan ama Pak Salman, Plt. Direktur PELH. Transit sejaman di Kuala Lumpur terus transit lagi di Dubai sebentar (baca: 4 jam). Nyampe di Nairobi, kirain bakalan panas gitu yah. Ternyata adem ayem ajah..kecewah deh… abis nggak bawa jaket :)

First thing crossed in my mind about Africa was… panas, berdebu dan agak primate gitu (kurang hajar sekaleee…). But fortunately I was wrong. Nairobi jauh dari ketiadaan. Jauh dari yang namanya panas. Jauh dari yang namanya polusi tapi dekat dengan yang namanya penodongan dan penembakan. Walah… jadi milih yang mana ni? Kepanasan atau kejahatan?

Seneng banget deh waktu ke Nairobi. Kirain seumur-umur nggak bakalan lagi aku temui udara segar kayak di Kaliurang (dulu). Nyatanya, Nairobi itu surganya udara bersih. Nggak ada kata lain buat mendeskripsikannya selain sejuk luar biasa. Kalau pernah diopname di rumah sakit sampai mau tewas, pasti pernah dikasih oksigen sama suster. Wah… kalah deh itu tabung oksigen. It's like makan permen mint Golia sebanyak-banyaknya.

Tapi sempet surprise juga waktu menginjakkan kaki di bandara Jomo Kenyatta. Hm… bandara internasional yang kecil dan lumayan kumuh. Kalah deh ama bandara di Ambon, Kendari, Samarinda, Yogya, Medan. Ama jakarta apa lagi… Tapi yang seru adalah, sebelah kiri persis bandara itu adalah Nairobi National Park. Jadi begitu keluar bandara, kalau beruntung dan belom pada bermigrasi, bisa lihat Jerapah, Zebra dan teman-temannya.

Sepanjang jalan yang udah bagus yang dilihat padang rumput yang jarang-jarang karena dimakan binatang, yang menguning warnanya karena terik matahari dan mbak-mbak serta mas-mas yang mayoritas item (halah..). Kota Nairobi sendiri nggak terlalu adem sih. Mulai berasa rindang waktu masuk ke suburb, di mana diplomatic compound dan UNON (United Nations Office in Nairobi) berada.

Tadinya nginep semalem di Wisma Duta KBRI yang walah walah bagus banget yak. Rindang, halamannya luas, ijo royo-royo, plus ada Jiro dan Cheetah, rotweillernya pak dubes dan extra 3 German Shepperd hehehe.. Trus, malem berikutnya hingga curiganya sampe malem-malem terakhir, daku nginep di tetangga sebelah, di rumah orang Yaman yang astaghfirullah baeknya nggak ketulungan. Pinjem handuk boleh... mau ngudek-udek dapur silahkan... mau nonton tipi semaleman sumonggo kerso... ampe mau ngetik-ngetik kerjaan (baca: laporan sidang) pun dikasih ruang kerja. Gubrak abis pokoknyah..

Deskripsi kamar: gedheeee.....jacuzzi......eternit kaca (wakakakakakakak). Mana daku sekamar ama mbak Julia dari KLH. Kagak salah temen bobok nee..? kikikikikik....

Hm...seminggu di sini belom sempet ke mana-mana karena jadwal Sidangnya emang padat abis dan nggak ketulungan ya, ampe malem mulu. Akhirnya baru minggu ini ada rencana mau nengokin teman-teman flamingo di Danau Nakuru. Hm.. males sih sebetulnya, karena sisi feminin lebih condong belanja oleh-oleh ke Village Market (wink..wink..). Tapi yah..tak apa, itung-itung nabung cerita buat anak cucu (halaaa...h).

....to be continued....

Are you Normal?

2006-10-03T09:32:00.000+07:00

"Normality is merely a matter of consensus"

Veronica Decides to Die - Paulo Coelho

Seng ada Taksi di Ambon...

2006-09-25T08:19:00.000+07:00

Wuiiiih, akhirnya bisa juga menjejakkan kaki di Ambon.

Muterin tempat yang jauh-jauh di Indonesia, aku jadi nyadar, ternyata Indonesia itu gede juga ya. Bandingin ama negara yang secara geografis lebih simpel kayak Australia ato Singapura ato Brunei ato Belanda yang gak punya pulau. Wah, pasti boring abis ya travelling nya. Mau ke mana-mana deket tinggal naek kereta ato pesawat dan gak sampe berjam-jam. Lah, kalo kita, Jakarta -Ambon aja lebih lama jarak tempuhnya daripada Jakarta - Singapura.

Anyway, daku ke Ambon naik batavia jam 6.00 pagi. Tadinya mikir buat nggak tidur semaleman, takut nggak bisa bangun pagi, maklum, kebo gitu hehe. Tapi bobok juga akhirnya dan untungnya denger sms mas jimi yang niat banget mbangunin jam 4-an hihihi. Makasih..makasih… :)

Terus transit di Surabaya for 20 minutes, nyampe di Ambon jam 2 siang dijemput ama Jodi ama mas Dian yang udah sehari sebelumnya nyampe sana. Aku berangkat sama mas Deni ama pak Wandi. Besoknya baru njemput babe-babe ke bandara. Lama-lama aku merasa kayak perempuan di sarang penyamun, kalo pergi gak ada temen ceweknya. Uhm…ato mereka yang merasa aku ngerusak sarang penyamun ya? Hahahaha… Tapi enak juga jadi cewek sendirian, jadi nggak share kamar hotel ama siapa-siapa hehehehe...

First thing to do begitu nyampe di Ambon adalah……. Yak... Makan hehehehe. Wah… yang namanya kepiting kenari itu gedhe banget yak. Capitnya aja bisa segedhe telapak tangan anak kecil. Buset deh. Puas banget makannya apalagi dimasak lada hitam… nyam..nyam.. Pokoknya selama di sana, makannya sea food melulu. Sempet makan di Tirta Kencana yang persis dipinggir teluk, waaaah…bagus banget pemandangannya.

Pas nyampe sana, aku kira Ambon itu panas, ternyata emang panas, cuman kebetulan selama seminggu kemaren itu, Ambon lagi dingin, hujan hampir tiap hari dan tertutup kabut. Haduuuh, itu teluk Ambon ya, baguuuuuuus banget. Kalo dari bandara ato dari kampus UNPATTI mau ke kota Ambon, harus naik kapal feri nyebrangin teluk. Bisa juga muterin teluknya kalo nggak mau naek feri cuman lebih lama nyampenya. Jalannya berliku-liku dan naik turun gunung, tapi jalanannya udah bagus banget, mungkin karena nggak pernah dilewatin ama truk-truk besar.

Enaknya kalo nyebrang teluk itu pas siang ato pagi hari karena bisa ngliat kiri - kanan. Bisa ngliat bangkai kapal yang pernah karam, bisa ngrasain angin sejuk dan bau air asinnya, naek ke dek ngliat bukit-bukitnya, bisa gosong juga kulitnya hehe... Terus kalo mau muterin teluk dan gak naek feri, paling seru kalo malam-malam. Why? Karena jalanannya dah bagus jadi bisa ngebut di sepanjang jalan yang jarang lampu. Bikin deg-degan gitu, serasa ikutan petualangan Sherina (apaan siiih?). Serunya lagi, karena jalanannya dibuat persis dipinggir jurang jadi bisa ngliat lampu-lampu kota di seberang teluk dengan leluasa. Sayangnya sepanjang jalan itu, nggak ada trotoarnya, dan orang-orang di sana punya kebiasaan jalan kaki agak ke tengah jalan, jadi musti ati-ati juga, salah-salah malah nabrak orang nanti. Jalanan di kota Ambon sendiri lumayan sempit dan rame angkot ama becak. Apalagi kalo udah ketemu sama pasar. Walaaah….dijamin lebih macet dari pasar Cikokol di Tangerang.

Kota Ambon itu nggak gede-gede amat. Kecil banget malah. Everybody knows everybody. Udah kayak preman kenal sesama preman gitu hehehehe. Tapi malah menyenangkan karena kalo ada apa-apa, malah banyak yang bantuin dan gak pada macem-macem karena si ini kenal si itu dan si dia kenal si anu. Buktinya ni, pas kita dah balik ke Jakarta, baru nyadar kalo infocus nya ketinggalan di mobil sewaan hihihi, gak taunya pak Viki yang secara dia itu Pembantu Dekan FISIP UNPATTI kenal juga ama sopir mobil sewaan kita yang kenal juga ama resepsionis dua (inget ya.. dua) hotel yang kita tempatin. Jadi selamet deh infocus nya.. Ck…ck..ck..

Yang khas dari kota Ambon itu.. Apalagi kalo bukan tempat karaoke hihihi. Buset deh, orang Ambon kayaknya bisa nyanyi semuanya ya. Ampe keder dengernya. Nggak di tempat karaoke, nggak di hotel, nggak di restoran, pokoknya orang-orang di sana seneng banget nyanyi. Kali mereka nyadar kalo suaranya bagus-bagus, jadi kalo disuruh maju buat nyanyi nggak kayak di Deplu yang langsung nolak hihihihi.

Kalo jalan ke Ambon, jangan lupa nyari besi putih. Tapi ternyata bukan buatan Ambon, tapi buatan Ternate. Carilah yang asli di perempatan tugu Trikora. Besi putih apaan sih? Daku tadinya juga nggak ngerti gitu. Ternyata itu lho, yang sering dibuat gelang ato kalung cowok dari logam warna putih. Yang jelas harganya ternyata nggak murah. Mahal boo, bisa nyaingin emas gitu. Terus kalo mau nyari oleh-oleh jalan aja ke daerah Batu Merah (kalo kakinya buat jalan jauh, kalo nggak kuat naik ojek ajah). Kalo makanannya sih paling enak selain sea food, ya sagu sama ikan cakalang asap. 150 ribu dapet sepuluh ikan. Lumayan agak gede juga ikannya, jadi kalo beli banyak-banyak bingung juga ngabisinnya ntar. Ada juga manisan pala yang katanya manis tapi rasanya aneh hihihi. Terus ada kue kenari yang dibakar. Terus ada papeda alias sagu kental yang paling enak diseruput dan dimakan pake ikan bumbu kuah kuning.

Waktu di sana, kita nginep di Hotel amboina. Ada banyak hotel yang lumayan bagus di sana. Ada hotel Amans, hotel Manise, sama Grand Soya. Cuman kecil-kecil dan kamarnya gak banyak, jadi kalo mau ke sana, mending booking kamar dulu jauh-jauh hari. Ada cerita lumayan seru waktu di sana. Stranded semalem di bandara hihihi.

Tadinya mau pulang ke jakarta hari jumat siang pesawat jam 2 naek batavia juga. Gak taunya si batavia dari Surabaya telat datengnya ke Ambon karena nungguin pejabat daerah yang gak jelas yang telat banget datengnya yang bikin penumpang laen di Surabaya gondok abis yang bikin penumpang di Ambon bt berats. Gak taunya pula, tuh pesawat... terbang gak pake radar. Please deh. Akhirnya nyampe Ambon udah malem, tuh pesawat nangkring aja di landasan dan bt nya lagi, gak ada yang ngasih penjelasan why oh why ya tuh pesawat gak terbang-terbang. Alhasil setelah nangkring di bandara dari jam 12 siang ampe jam 9 malem, ampe tuh lampu bandara dimatiin, ampe pada marah-marah, keluar juga deh mas-mas imut dari balik loket batavia.

Aah… nginep lagi deh semalem. Yang tadinya dah mau lega karena kerjaan dah selesai, eh balik lagi musti booking kamar buat orang-orang, nyari mobil sewaan pula yang musti disewa dari Ambon secara bandara dah tutup dari jam 5 sore gitu. Seng ada taksi. Nyampe di hotel, eh ketemu ama kapten pesawatnya ama mbak-mbak pramugari yang cerewet banget minta seragamnya di laundry karena gak mau make baju kotor buat besok paginya. Pengen banget njotos mbak satu itu. Gak tau apa, kita dah side a side b hihihihi..Jorok ih… :p

Anyway, akhirnya sabtu pagi kita pulang ke jakarta, naek pesawat yang sama, kapten yang sama, pramugari yang sama dengan makanan yang berbeda karena lebih komplit dari biasanya yang cuman roti doank hihihi, dan digantiin pula sewa transport ama nginep di hotelnya. Emang enaaak…

Oya…di Ambon itu banyaaaaak banget yang namanya Rumah Kopi. Yang paling beken warung kopinya Bang Joas yang kayaknya agak feminin gitu hihihi. Rameeee banget. Tadinya daku gak mau diajakin kesana, abis isinya cowok semua, sereeeem…, mana nggak ada yang "cerah" gitu hihihi. Tapi yah, teteeep ikut juga. Dan o la la, enak juga kopinya. Joas bilang dia buat (baca: goreng dan giling) sendiri kopinya. Dia bilang bikinnya diseduh pake aer panas yang baru mendidih dan bukan yang dari termos, terus bisa dikasih gula aja ato susu kental manis cap yang mana aja hihihi. Kalo kata Jodi ama mas Odo, kopinya Joas kenceng banget, tapi kok aku nggak ngerasa apa-apa ya? Bhwahahahahaha….

Waktu malem-malem jam 10an gitu, aku sempet diajakin jalan-jalan muterin kota (baca: bener-bener jalan kaki) ama mas Ais, mahasiswa UNPATTI (cieee…maenannya mahasiswa ;p). Tadinya mau ngliat-ngliat tempat-tempat hiburan gitu, tapi karena setelah kerusuhan 2 tahun yang lalu semua toko dan tempat senang-senang di Ambon tutup jam 8 malem, jadi kita muter-muter aja nggak jelas. Mas Ais bilang, rumah-rumah kopi di Ambon sering dijadiin tempat negosiasi kalo ada konflik (gubrak, dah kayak diplomat aje..hihihi). Jadi kalo ada masalah-masalah yang nyerempet-nyerempet masalah politik gitu, diomonginnya di rumah kopi. Seru juga...

Anyway…seminar nya sendiri seru banget dan sukses abis. Congrats buat Jodi yang kali ini jadi PO nya :) . Yang tadinya ngundang 200 orang, eh yang dateng 250an, jadi jatah makan siang ama snack nya kurang hihihi..ya maap. Udah gitu, pesertanya antusias bangeeeeet buat nanya-nanya, ampe harus di cut sampe jam 4 aja. Untung nggak ada yang marah-marah ya.

Udah ah, capek...

Whole Again...

2006-09-16T15:51:00.000+07:00

If you see me walking down the street
Staring at the sky
And dragging my two feet
You just pass me by
It still makes me cry
But you can make me whole again

And If you see me with another man
I'm Laughin and I'm jokin'
Doing what I can
I Won't put you down
Cuz i want you around
You can make me whole again

[Chorus]
Looking back on when we first met
I cannot escape and i cannot forget
Baby you're the one, you still turn me on
You can make me whole again

Time is layin' heavy on my heart
Seems I've got too much of it
Since we've been apart
My friends make me smile
If only for awhile
You can make me whole again

[Chorus]
Lookin' back on when we first met
I cannot escape and I cannot forget
Baby you're the one, you still turn me on
You can make me whole again

For now I'll have to wait
But baby if you change your mind
Don't be too late
Cause I just can't go on
It's already been too long
But you could make me whole again

[Chorus]

Lookin' back on when we first met
I cannot escape and I cannot forget
Baby you're the one, you still turn me on
You can make me whole again

- Atomic Kitten -

ber Kendari ria

2006-09-06T08:21:00.000+07:00

Let me see… what did I learn from my lovely little visit to kendari.

It was great.

It was much..much… and I mean much…much better than samarinda. Waarom? Karena acaranya sukses donk di sana hihihihi. Daku pan dah janji ama mas odo kalo Kendari harus lebih baek dari Samarindah ;p. Tiket orang-orang ok, all pembicara ok, undp ok and dennis lazarus was great as usual, anggaran oks banget ;p , transport ok, hotel was more than just ok, sewa mobil was unbelievably ok, media was cooperative enough to put pak suryana’s face in their newspaper kikikikik, and the seminar itself was perfect. And perfect meant the place was overloaded with enthusiastic participants equipped with tough questions. Terbayangkan donk, acara begituan yang biasanya jam 3 juga dah pada ngabur, tapi penonton masih setia nangkring sambil nyap-nyap ampe maghrib. Then again, it would not be complete without good food with cheap .. and I mean cheap..cheap…price.
…and everybody’s happy… especially me.. :)

Btw, acaranya diadain di fisip unhalu alias universitas haluoleo yang berarti halu=delapan dan oleo=hari. FYI, haluoleo itu nama pahlawan di kendari sono yang dikasih nama sama mamanya begitu karena waktu mamanya mau giving birth dia, mamanya itu mules dulu delapan hari. Speaking of giving birth, cobalah tengok sewaktu-waktu ada waktu, kitab Kejadian pasal 3:16-17 (halah..). I found it very interesting and provocating…mind blowing… made me wondering… (halaaaah banget…).

Kalo mau ngebut, datanglah ke kendari (gubraak…mau ngebut aja mahal..). Betapa tidak… Jalanannya lebar-lebar, halus mulus, dan sepi dari macet. Enak deh pokoknya. Paling seneng sama udaranya yang walopun ditemenin sama benderang matahari tapi terhirup sejuk rasa ac. Pergilah ke kota lama dan melongoklah ke atas, di mana bukit-bukit berjajar dipadati rumah-rumah penduduk gaya tempo doeloe. Main-mainlah ke pasar ikan, temui ginuk-ginuk kepiting kenari dan merasainya ketika ia sudah mati oleh api, dan cobalah praktekan bahasa tolaki, dijamin nggak bisaah….

By the by… Daku nyampe di Kendari tgl. 29 pagi (baca : 12.30 am). Beruntunglah sutra dijemput sama orang hotelnya. Btw ya... bandara di Kendari itu namanya Wolter Mongonsidi instead of Monginsidi. Bingung daku… Anyway.. belon ada berape jam itu di hotel, daku dah gak feeling so good lagi. Perasaan daku mengatakan kalo orang-orang, especially yang gede-gede itu, gak bakalan favourable tinggal di situ. Apalagi setelah daku bertemu musuh lama (baca: kecoa). Lumayan sih, gak jelek-jelek amat, tapi ya… gak bagus juga. Takjubnya lagi, orang-orang selalu bilang kalo hotel yang bagus itu ya di situ. Pas daku mau check in di resepsionist, yang ada malah daku dikacangin. Bilang kek suruh tunggu sebentar ato apaan gitu..lah ini kagak ada basa-basinya. Dan menurutku, itu tidak baik sodara (apa daku narsis merasa penting kali ya? ;p). What we did was, cancelled all the reservation the very same day, iseng ngerjain bapak sopir yang baik hati dan tidak sombong ngiderin kota and moved in to Plaza Inn Hotel (harap dicatet sodara-sodara….). Mungkin secara dilihat dari budget, itu bukan keputusan yang bagus – bagus amat karena musti bayar cancellation fee. Tapi, pernahlah aku mendengar dan sayangnya mulai tertanam bahwa uang itu bukanlah uangku, jadi buat apa pusing?

PROPAGANDA TIDAK TERSELUBUNG: Plaza Inn Hotel, hotel baru kinyis-kinyis wong bukanya baru bulan mei dengan bath tub Jacuzzi (ehem.. di kamar suite looh) memberikan anda harga corporate yang sangat menyegarkan mata, pikiran dan kantong anda. Hubungi sdri. Kiki marketing anda untuk keterangan lebih mantabh dan terpercayah..

Lanjut…
Awalnya sih, pas persiapan itu, ada sedikit major problem (piye itu sedikit tapi major?). Pas daku ketemu Dekan Unhalu, diketahuilah kalo mereka mengira acaranya itu tanggal 30. Padahal ya padahal, acaranya itu tanggal 31. Intinya adalah everything was set up, undangan dah disebar 200 orang buat tanggal 30 dan pembicaranya baru datang tanggal 30 malem. Pan gak lutju ya? (Sasa guity as charged). Alhasil seharian itu kerjanya nelponin dan nyamperin orang-orang yang dah diundang termasuk bapak walikotah dan wagub...halah.. Tadinya pak dekan minta flight pembicara dimajuin biar acaranya bisa tetep tgl. 30 (baca: supaya daripada acara dapat dibuka oleh bapak wagub).
...Dan dengan lugu daku mengatakan kepada bapak dekan kita bahwa itu bukan pilihan... BM aja kalo mau dimarahin pak soni hehe.. (kata mas koba, BM itu Berani Mampus... :p )

Singkat kata singkat cerita, kerjaan seharian itu adalah ngralat undangan kikikikik.. dan untungnya berkat rahmat Tuhan Yang Maha Esa, ralatnya beres, dan beres pula acaranya. (pak guru Hanung, tanya donk, kata ”yang” di situ kenapa huruf besar ya?) Kenapa tidak ditulis Tuhan yME instead of Tuhan YME?.

Jadi apaan ya.. yang daku pelajari dari Kendari?
Rahasia.... (kecewaaaah..)

But to me, it’s alright to say no.

NB: janjinya dah lunas kan, haryo???

Yuuk ke Samarinda..

2006-08-15T10:09:00.000+07:00

Akhirnya balik lagi ke Kalimantan...
Kata orang, kalo udah pernah ngrasain aer sungainya, which nggak jelas juga yang mana, suatu hari bakalan balik lagi. Dan jangan terjebak dengan "ngrasain" yang tidak selalu sama dengan minum. Mandi pake aer sungainya kan juga ngrasain namannya :P Tapi nggak mau ah nyangkutin ke mith kayak gitu hehe. Yang jelas, this time perginya ke Samarinda. Yup, .. ada kerjaan. Waktu itu ada seminar sama unmul alias universitas mulawarman dan daku didaulat dengan cara-cara yang nggak pake nyentuh demokrasi alias agak maksa-maksa buat jadi PO nya. Orang-orang enak ya berangkat sehari sebelum acaranya mulai dan pulang hari itu juga or sehari sesudahnya. Lah, diriku ya, dah nangkring di sana 4 hari sebelumnya berlabel survey lapangan.. ck..ck..ck..

Susah juga ternyata jadi PO itu. Musti ngurusin segala sesuatu dari yang gak penting sampe yang terpenting. Dan yang gak penting tiba-tiba jadi penting dan yang terpenting bisa jadi sama sekali gak penting. Hampir sama lah kayak jadi LO, tapi yang ini bener-bener blank dan harus mulai dari awal banget. Pan kalo jadi LO udah enak, gak usah mikirin ni orang mau nginep di mane, kamarnya harus yang mane, kendaraannya nyari pegimane, jalannya dari sini ke sono musti lewat mane, blah blah blah. Jadi PO itu nggak enak, apalagi pertama kali jadi PO. Daku ampe pusing berkeliling-keliling. Musti nyari hotel dan bandingin penawaran pula, ngurusin pembayaran ini itu, musti deal harga sama panitya di sana, musti nyari transport yang gak boleh mahal-mahal dan mobilnya harus yang begini lah begitu lah, musti nyari tempat buat jalan juga, harus tau medan semedan-medannya. Details do matter. Ampun deh. Lalu daku tunjuk tangan, kalo penghasilan bisa lebih penting dari substansi dengan budget berlimpah yang pusing ngabisinnya, masih perlu ya pake ngirit-ngirit segala?

...
Samarinda is a beautiful city.... (at night). Waktu ke Pontianak dulu, ngeliat sungai segede gitu daku dah amazed banget. Giliran ke Samarinda, harusnya udah nggak amazed, masih amazed juga. Asik kali ya kalo bisa berendem di situ kayak bebek.. (minus arus yang deras). Pemandangannya keren abis. Kontur tanah yang berbukit-bukit di seberang sungai bisa buat spot yang bagus banget buat ngeliat pemandangan kota di malam hari. Dari kejauhan bisa liat cahaya kota diseberang sungai....(sambil makan sea food ofcourse..). Kotanya gak besar-besar amat. Mungkin kayak jogja gitu (minus kabupaten di sekitarnya) yang gak ada sejam diputerin juga dah balik lagi on the spot. Cuman, jalanannya kayak di Solo. Ruwet dan muter-muter.

Lumayan juga capeknya ke Samarinda. 2 jam lebih dari Balikpapan jalan darat. Kebayang tidak, diriku setiap hari dalam seminggu bolak-balik Samarinda – Balikpapan? Ya maap, pesawatnya cuman sampe Bandara Sepinggan di Balikpapan. Kalo mau nyampe Samarinda ya musti charter pesawat imut ke Termindung. Mana transport di sana susah banget, mahal pula. Hal yang musti dicatat adalah: tiket pesawat ke Samarinda semakin siang semakin murah meriah. Apalagi semakin sore. Mengapakah demikian? Karena bok ya.. dari Balikpapan sampe Samarinda itu musti nglewatin yang namanya bukit Soeharto alias hutan yang panjang amat dan berliku-liku dan tiada berlampu pijar pun di malam hari dan tiada warung pula yang bisa ditumpangin pipis... halah...(Uhm... mungkin kita bisa uji nyali disitu yaa).
Tapi paling enak, muter-muter Samarinda naek ojek. Iseng-iseng sebelum njemputin orangs dari balikpapan daku muter-muter aja sendiri. Sepuluh ribu rupiah, murah meriah di tengah hari bolong dan panas tenan. Untung tukang ojek nya bisa jadi free tour guide juga, ngasih tau kiri kanan ada apaan, kalo balik ke hotel naek angkot nomer berapa, makan enak di mana. Untung juga ketemu sama mbak Eni dari UNMUL. Muter-muterlah kita muterin kampus, daku jadi tau fakultas ini di mana, fakultas itu di mana, boboknya rektor di mana, jalan tikusnya sebelah mana. Ayook deh ke sana lagi, pasti daku dah hapal hehehhehehe.

Capek...capek, tapi justru dengan begitu daku jadi kenal medan tempur (halah..). Tanyalah padaku, kapan jalan trans Samarinda-Balikpapan pas macet-macetnya, daku pasti tau hehehe. Di mana restoran with very nice view Lipan Hill berada daku ikut hehe, kepiting lada hitam dan udang bakar terenak di sana..ayuuuk (asal makannya jangan sebelahan mas odo, bisa kalah bersaing hehe), nyari batu-batu yang gak jelas, nyari dendeng rusa (eeeuuwww..eh tapi sate rusa enak juga lho ternyata....Tapi habis itu jangan maen ke monas ntar dikejar-kejar rusa kan malu...).

Sebetulnya ya, secara substansi (halah.. kok jadi substantif kayak haryo hihihihi. Btw, haryo itu anak sekdilu 30 di konsuler yang substantiph abish, halah...), acaranya seru juga. Ngobrolin keterwakilan kita di organisasi internasional yang kian hari kian langka. Lumayan juga bisa nggandeng si Dennis Lazarus dari UNDP buat jadi pembicaranya. Orangnya baek dan kooperatiph. Pesertanya juga semangat-semangat. Saking semangatnya, sempet ada yang protes, why bother ngomongin kapasitas nasional di tingkat internasional kalo intepreternya (mas odo) yang dipake buat UNDP ternyata bule juga? Halah... mas odo gitu, dikira bule...

Sebetulnya ya, daku bt abis pas ke sana. Nyaris nggak bisa ”ngrasain” bener-bener samarinda itu kayak apaan. Abis udah pusing, tiap hari yang dipikirin kerjaan mulu. Badannya pergi ke Tenggarong tapi pikirannya muter ke mana-mana. It’s like everything has to be 110 percent perfect. Mana, orang-orang maunya pada beda-beda yak. Ada yang mau ke sini, ada yang mau ke sana, ada yang mau pulang dadakan pula, dan walopun badan daku emang gede dari sononya, tapi tetep satu jua. Pusing musti nganterin orang-orang ke sana kemari, bolak-balik hotel – kampus – bandara. Capek musti ikutan ke Tenggarong terus balik-balik pake acara suruh nganterin nyari oleh-oleh lagi. Bok, please dah ah, jam 11 malem gitu looh... Yang bikin puyeng is that daku berasa kayak dikejar-kejar setan berwujud deadlines dan perfection.

Uhm… emang daku dikejar-kejar sebetulnya... tapi sama mas odo hihihihi. He is one perfectionist man alive! (This is a compliment looh ;p). Haduuh… ampe puyeng deh kerja ama mas odo. But, I think I can live with that .. (for now hehehe..). I know he cares about me. He wants me to learn everything about anything . He’s been trying to teach me how to be analytical and to be systematic, which kayaknya susah banget pastinya buat dia ngajarin aku kayak begitu hahahahahaha… Kadang tu ya… mas odo adalah orang "tersabar" di dunia, nungguin daku ngetik bikin ini itu ampe bener ampe daku kagak boleh ke mane-mane hihihihihi… Sayangnya kagak bener-bener hahahahaha.. Kadang juga tu ya, mas odo bawel banget (halah... paling sebel dia kalo dibilang bawel.. ;p). Eh mas odo, cepet sembuh ya.... Dua hari tanpa dirimu itu damai banget hihihi, tapi kangen juga dibawelin hehe..

Overall.... kadang (cuma kadang..) daku mikir, we don’t have to worry about so many things. If we are sure that Spirit from up above would be with us and works things out, then why bother to worry because in the end things would be alright, right? Jadi, perlu khawatir tidak?

Astri Si Anak Magang

2006-08-05T19:00:00.000+07:00

Naaaa, ini waktu malem terakhir Astri di Jakarta.
Btw, Astri itu anak magang di deplu. Gak terasa sebulan magangnya dah selesai. Tu anak lutju banget yak et cuek abis ampe suka ditegor bu kos.. hihihihihi
Any way, karena gak sempet hura-hura (halah..), akhirnya malem itu dibela-belain jalan2. Padahal aku abis pulang nonton ama hanung nyampe di kos dah jam 9 malem. Tapi saking ngebetnya, pas ditelpon inke buat nyusul ke semanggi, akhirnya pergi juga ke semanggi cuman buat foto ama beli j.co hihihihihihi...

Daku berasa gedhe banget yak di situ.. Gimana nggak? Inke ama Astri ukurannya mini-mini gitu. Udah gitu box nya kecil lagi, mana panas alang kepalang. Ampe keringetan. Tapi tetep ceria kan? kikikikikikik...

Yup, sampe ketemu lagi ya As, ... ingat - ingat, lembar penilaian magang dikau masih ada padaku hehehe...

NB: semoga mbak-mbak yang punya photo box diberikan pahala yang berlimpah karena mau nerima orderan jam 10 malem... hehehehe

On Materialism

2006-07-31T10:58:00.000+07:00

Russian Astronaut : "I've been out in space many times but I've never seen God or angels".

Russian Brain Surgeon: " And I've operated on many clever brains but I've never seen a single thought".

Sophie's World

page 231

Tentang: Jodoh

2006-07-15T19:02:00.000+07:00

Daku kecewa... (hari ini daku lagi kumat aneh nya jadi dimaklumi saja bersama .. ;p)

Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia hampir mematikan mijn definitie van Jodoh karena menurutnya jodoh adalah cocok; sesuai; sepadan; serasi; setuju hatinya.

Menurut KTP yang masih berlaku, daku adalah penganut katholik. Tapi mind you ya, menganut tidak sama dengan mempercayai dan mempercayai tidak sama dengan menganut. Dan setelah dipengaruhi KTP itu dan setelah dipengaruhi paham monogami, mind set ku berkata jodoh adalah selamanya. Dan daku yakin dul yakin bahwa suatu hari yang cerah ceria nanti, daku akan menikah dengan atau tinggal serumah dengan atau pahit-pahitnya mengontrak sebuah kamar dengan lain jenis yang daku cintai seusia umur. Dan mind set daku mengatakan bahwa lain jenis yang akan seumur-umur dengan daku sama dengan jodoh daku.

Protes ah kalau infotainment bilang: dia bukan jodoh saya atau kami sudah tidak berjodoh lagi atau jodoh saya cuma sampai di sini atau kami memang tidak berjodoh atau apalah. Mind set daku protes banget tuh, karena mikirnya jodoh sama dengan seusia umur kita (baca: till death do us part).

Tapi mau protes nggak jadi deng, soalnya pake baca kamus segala sih.
Jadi infotainment itu betul juga ya karena punya dekengan kamus. Kalau jodoh adalah seperti kata kamus berarti memang ada masanya jodoh itu selesai karena berarti ada masanya kita tidak cocok lagi, tidak sesuai lagi, tidak sepadan lagi, tidak serasi lagi, tidak setuju lagi hatinya (parah). Tapi menurut mind set daku yang menurut daku kadang agak kelewatan saklek nya, jodoh itu ya sampai akhir hayat, sampai daku atau jodoh daku tewas seketika kesamber geledek atau ketabrak mobil atau sakit alang kepalang atau tiba-tiba diambil sama kekuatan di atas sana tanpa ngasih alasan yang jelas (dan akhirnya bikin nangis-nangis ogah-ogahan menerima kenyataan yang absurd).

Menurut mind set daku yang terpengaruh monogami dan ktp tadi, jodoh adalah satu untuk satu dan satu saja untuk satu kali hidup saja. Bukankah kita hanya hidup satu kali? Tapi kalau hidup hanya satu kali bagaimana nanti daku menerangkan kehidupan setelah kematian ya? hmm...

Satu? Jadi inget film Berbagi Suami. Lebih dari satu sama dengan pusing. Dan jadi mikir, apakah poligami sama dengan berjodoh banyak? Jadi daku bisa punya jodoh banyak juga ya? hm.....

Coba daku nggak penasaran baca kamus sialan itu ya, pasti daku nggak senewen dan akhirnya mikir untuk punya mind set baru. Tapi mind you ya, membaca tidak sama dengan harus percaya.

Ntar ah, bikin kamus sendiri...

Who am I fooling?

2006-07-12T08:16:00.000+07:00

Dan dia tidak pernah memintanya. Aku pun sadar dia tidak akan pernah mengindahkannya. Dan aku pun tidak menginginkan yang lebih dari itu karena aku punya Sam.

Sam yang selalu ada di sana untuk aku. Sam yang mencintaiku dengan apa adanya. Sam yang mengerti aku dan memahami aku lebih dari siapapun. Sam yang serius mencintai aku. Sam yang ingin hidup semati dengan ku. Sam yang dengan setia menunggu aku memutuskan saat yang tepat. Sam yang untukku adalah sahabat hidupku. Sam yang untukku adalah separuh jiwa dan pikiranku. Sam yang untukku adalah cinta kasih. Sam yang untukku adalah rasa rindu yang hebat. Sam yang untukku adalah rasa ingin memiliki yang kuat. Sam yang untukku adalah keinginan untuk hidup bersama yang maha dasyat. Sam yang untukku adalah segala-galanya.

Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y

2006-07-07T08:37:00.000+07:00

Ok,

Hari ini aku salah sangka lagi. Ok then, aku salah sangka lagi karena dia diam dan aku mengartikannya sebagai "ada sesuatu yang tidak disukainya dariku pada saat itu". Gubrak banget ya gr nya aku hihihihihi. Anyway, ternyata dia ngantuk berat dan meriang karena semaleman nonton bola. Yee..siapa suruh nonton bola ya? Padahal udah tau besoknya musti bangun pagi-pagi dan kerja lagi. Ck..ck..ck.. Dasar cowok.

Anyway, tadi like usual, aku ke multilateral, tapi pagi2 aku ke konsuler dulu buat MASUKIN KARTU KELUARGA YANG DARI KEMAREN KAGAK ADA YANG BALIKIN KE TEMPATNYA, BT. Padahal it's so simple gitu. Ah udah ah, gak usah dibahas. Yang penting kerjaan bu Woro selesai dan bu Wati tidak bau hari ini hihihihihi. Yang bikin bt lagi, iwan sialan itu gak nongol, kagak masuk dia. Baguslah buat dia, karena kalo dia masuk, mungkin aku dah pasang muka "aku musuhan sama situ dan jangan harap aku bakalan nglupain seumur-umur apa yang situ mungkin sudah tulis di meja saya". K.A.M.P.R.E.T !

Trus…
baru jam setengah 9 aku nongol di Multilateral. Gak banyak kerjaan hari ini di multi. Ada sih, cuman daku males aja, hehehehe. Tapi bukan berarti daku nganggur lho. Tadi aku sempet ngingetin mas Dian buat ngirim surat dan brafaks yang dah nangkring dari kemaren cuman belum kekirim karena dia kesiangan dateng gara-gara Prancis vs Portugal. Terus aku juga sempet-sempetin nge-file bukti transfer yang bejibun ke odners mas Koba. Terus aku juga sempet baca-baca surat baru tapi gak daku apa-apain sih, soalnya pak Suryana gak masuk, sakit, jadi belom ada dispo. Terus daku juga sempet bikin lapming bulan Juni buat mbak Ani. Terus ngeprint kurang lebih 100 halaman TOEFL Thingy. Terus chatting ;p. Surat ke BNI ama Karo Keuangan udah kelar. L.E.G.A. Kayaknya sekarang aku harus ngejar seminar UNMUL itu deh. Kalo gak, bakalan ada yang lebih nge-bt-in. M.A.S. O.D.O ;P

Trus….
Seperti biasa juga, aku makan ke kanpan ama hanung dan balik ke konsuler bantuin anis ama datu sebentar buat legalisir akte kelahiran. Speaking of legalisir, aku gemes ama bu atik. Masak dibilang pak mudzakir gak ada. JELAS-JELAS AKU LIHAT DIA ADA. Apa mau uang tambahan buat mempercepat? You know what, I won't do that.

Trus…
Seperti biasa lagi, aku bantuin hanung di paspor. Tapi aku ngetik lapming bulan Mei dulu buat mbak ani, biar gak merasa ditinggalin gara-gara aku suka bantuin paspor hehehehe. Tapi tadi mbak ani agak aneh. Dia bilang aku jangan sampe ninggalin dia. Emang aku mau ke mana toch? Men petak umpet?…. Abis ngetik punya mbak ani, aku mau maen games tapi mas jimi minta dibantuin exit permit. Tadinya sebelum dia bilang gitu, aku udah mau menawarkan bantuan karena aku tau hanung ama iqbal lagi rapat ama pak harimawan. Ya..ayook aja… Dengan senang hati :)

Trus…
Setelah bantuin paspor ampe jam 6. Aku pulang deh beli kangkung dulu. Aku gak ke multilateral sore ini. M.A.L.E.S. Besok aja sekalian ngecek UNMUL. Mind you, sasa… yang ini harus sering di check updates nya, biar mas Odo gak bt, dan jangan lupa tanya pak Suryana ijin ke pak Harimawan re advance team.

Today Horoscope... uhm.. masa siii

2006-06-07T10:51:00.000+07:00

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21

Positive changes in your financial situation may finally manifest today after considerable time and effort. This could be money that you've earned yourself, or it could be some kind of settlement or inheritance. Either way, dear Scorpio, it marks a turning point for you with regard to your income. You might be inspired to strive for even higher goals, for continued prosperity, as you aren't generally one to rest on your laurels. Onward and upward!

Kok gak gitu ya rasanya....

hari ini musti bayar kos dah gitu akhir bulan ini mau mudik berarti kan harus beli tiket...

Jadi ini turning point menuju onward and upward ato downward?

Perasaan yang aneh...

2006-06-02T18:37:00.000+07:00

Kenapa sih, dia suka aneh lain waktu dia nggak aneh.
…. tapi … aneh menurut siapa? Mungkin menurutku dia aneh, tapi ternyata dia nggak aneh, malah justru sikap anehnya itu ternyata sikap yang asli memang wajarnya begitu.
Aku jadi seperti menebak-nebak kucing dalam karung. Sebetulnya dia itu bagaimana ya? Kadang cuek kadang perhatian.
… tapi … itu menurutku lho. Mungkin buat dia sendiri, cuek adalah perhatiannya dan perhatian adalah cueknya. Pusing kan jadinya aku?
Kadang aku mikir, apa dia itu lagi marah sama aku kalau dia sedang diam. Atau dia sedang banyak pikiran atau banyak kerjaan sehingga dia diam.
Parahnya aku juga tidak mau bertanya sedang apa dia sebetulnya.
... marah atau hanya diam, perhatian tapi cuek atau memang dalam proses menghindar?
Uhm... menghindar. Menghindar dari aku. Perlukah itu? Aku tidak suka dihindari, lagipula aku memang tidak mencoba untuk mendekati.
Jadi maunya apa? Enaknya bagaimana? Lupakan saja?
Sekarang ... tidak bisa.

Today's Horoscope

2006-06-02T14:30:00.000+07:00

Scorpio
October 23 - November 21

You may start out rolling along nicely this morning, dear Scorpio, but then find yourself getting frustrated by the time the afternoon comes around. You are apt to get caught in unexpected traffic jams that refuse to budge. At work, people simply don't understand your side of the situation. No matter how hard you try to explain it, there is one key element that just doesn't seem to get through. More than likely, this has to do with your incredible passion, which no one else can possibly match, regardless of how hard they try.

sasa's page at www.msn.com

NO.............!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-25T14:07:00.000+07:00

yA ampYun.....
AmericAn IdOls witH TaYlor Hick n CaTherIne McPhEE as finAleE aja udah bikin bt BerAts apAlagi yANg MenaNg si BapAK TaYlor...
HaduUUUUh.....!!!! bENCI...BenCi....!!!
EllIOt..... i'm wiTh You dUDe....

It breaks a bit...

2006-05-23T19:24:00.000+07:00

Uhm..... it hurts...
it surprises me when my heart does break a bit knowing that he's married..
Go run away from me, but i want you to stay..
I'd learn to let you go..

Foot Prints on the Sand

2006-05-19T10:36:00.000+07:00

One night
I had a dream I
was walking along the
beach with the Lord; and
across the skies flashed
scenes from my life. In each
scene I noticed two sets of foot
prints on the sand and to my surprise,
I noticed that many times along the
path of my life there was only one
set of foot prints. And I noticed that
it was at the lowest and saddest
times in my life. I asked the Lord
about it. Lord you said that once
I decided to follow you, you
would walk with me all the
way. But I noticed that
during the most trouble
sometimes in my life
there is only one set of
footprints. I don't under-
stand why you left my side
when I needed you most
The Lord said: "My precious
child, I never left you during
your time or trial where
you see only one set
of footprints. I was
carrying you".

...I love mommy for giving it to me...

I am (my fav song at the moment)

2006-04-19T09:19:00.000+07:00

How you spend your minutes are what matters
All tomorrows come from yesterdays
When you're feeling broken, bruised and sometimes shattered
Blow out the candles on the cake
Like everything's a big mistake

It seems you always wait for life to happen
And your last buck can't buy a lucky break
If all we've got is us then life's worth living
And if you're in, you know I'm in
I'm ready and I'm willing

I am
When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you
No one's there to understand
I am
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand
I am

We're just who we are, there's no pretending
It takes a while to learn to live in your own skin
Say a prayer that we might find our happy ending
And if you're in you know I'm in
I'm ready and I'm willing

Chorus: I am
When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you
No one's there to understand
I am
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand
I am

I ain't got no halo hanging over my head
I ain't gonna judge you, I'm just here to love you
I am, I am

Chorus: I am
When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you
No one's there to understand
I am
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand
I am
When you think that no one needs you, sees you or believes you
No one's there to understand
I am
I'll be there to be that someone
When you think that no one is there to hold your hand
I am
I am
I am

Bon Jovi -Have a Nice Day 2005

I shared my love to someone else

2006-04-03T15:41:00.001+07:00

I miss my gramma.
I have been thinking about her lately. When she died, how she died, the day she died. Now i think it's a little bit funny when i looked at the sky the afternoon we buried her with gregorian music guessing that it would rain since i usually saw scenes of burrying dead people on rainy days on tv. What a generalization.
I still remember my gramma, that's for real.
I always have been a big girl, literaly. I was the tallest girl in my class in kindergarten and i still remember my gramma wearing kebaya carrying me up on her back while she walked along malioboro street. If you've been to malioboro and you know what kebaya is, then you can imagine how difficult it must had been for her to do so.
I still remember having her carrying my lunch box outside my class's window and waited for me to finish school.
I still remember how i whined for her to tell stories at nights when i couldn't slept. I remember exactly how she told me stories with her eyes closed, sleepy, tired...and i woke her up to tell me more stories over and over again.
I remember when i saw her slept on my late grandpa's chair with her mouth opened and i would put some salt on her tounge to wake her up.
I remember each morning on my kindergarten days when she bought me 5 bubble gums and made me a glass of coffee to get me out of bed to go to school.
I also remember every single birthday that i have had with her giving me "nasi kuning" while my mom already bought me birthday cake and i always ate it because she was a great cook.
My mother always gave her some money every month and i will never forget when my gramma gave me allowances every month, secretly from my mother. And i cannot forget when i always accepted it although i knew she needed it badly, more than i did.
I remember when i brushed her false teeth and bathed her when she was ill. I felt that it was annoying and frustrating but i never thought that she probably never felt annoyed or frustrated of taking care of me.
I never told my gramma that i loved her and now i tell somebody else's gramma (although she's my boyfriend's but she's still somebody else's..) that i love her every time i talk to her on the phone or every time i write her letters.
And i feel guilty sharing the love that i should have given to one of the remarkable women i have ever known in my life.
And if i could turn back time, i would tell her i love her.

Studeren of niet Studeren...dat is het kwestie

2006-04-03T15:41:00.000+07:00

Uhm... it's a bit boring here. Niet veel werken te doen.
I have a long time dream to further continue my study. Masters', Post Graduate,..name it as you like. Being in my place has given me lots of opportunities to earn a scholarship(s). Abroad or not abroad is not the question.

Uhm.... if given more than one great opportunities, what would you do? One of my teachers in high school, the-talkative-yet-wise-person mr. steve said that one cannot get all things one wants. Life is about making choices and there are times in your life when you have to sacrifice by choosing only one instead of two. Wat verveelen!
So much as i hated it, i think he's right. Damn!

A Simple Fact on Corruption

2006-01-11T13:57:00.000+07:00

"Corruption hurts the poor disproportionately by diverting funds intended for development, undermining a government's ability to provide basic services, feeding inequality and injustice, and discouraging foreign investment and aid" (Koffi Annan, UN Secretary General in his statement on the adoption by the general assembly of the United Nations Convention against Corruption)

First day in KIPS

2006-01-02T11:15:00.000+07:00

wAwAwAwAwA.................
Today is my first day in KIPS after a year in Polsus. Uhm.... I wonder what KIPS stands for in English? International Security and Disarmament?
Anyway...no disposition for today... no homework for today...Hurraaaaaay........................... !!!!!

Blunders

2005-11-24T17:38:00.000+07:00

Ppfffff........

I have been making lots of blunders at works. Well, it's not sumtin' new i guess......LOL. But, really.. I think November seems to be the "sasa makes lots of blunders" month. And instead of learning from the previous experiences... as usual...i keep on doing it..merely because i'm too lazy to do stuff. It's like when you feel that it's enough and sick of something, you just want to quit doing it and go to hell about it.

Well, that is some attitude i have... :)

I think I'm quite calm and not too assertive as a person, yet frankly, I don't take criticism easily. Especially when my complicated mind tells me that i don't deserve it. Weird though, that i can take even the hardest critics from those whom i care about but not from people in general. ... Am I not an adult? Am i still being childish? --> rethorical question, i know for sure... :p

What is adult anyway? This time of day, you cannot say that someone is an adult simply because he/she is above 21.

Doi Tung Project.. can we do it?

2005-11-21T18:49:00.000+07:00

Last weekend, i went to Medan, north Sumatra attending an important workshop on the Prospect of Developing and Implementing Alternative Development’s Policy to Fight Illicit Cultivation of Cannabis in Indonesia. One of the note speaker was Mr. Dissnadda Diskul from Thailand. A one remarkable person. 17 years ago, he started a project on a rural area Doi Tung, on the border of thailand and myanmar where he interacted with the local people who at that time planted opium poppy for a living.
Those people were poor and far far away from development reach. They have no education, not sufficient health care and no money. With lack of skill, they planted opium poppy, which easily grows, and sell it to earn some money.
Mr. Diskul saw this as a crucial problem to be solved. With the help of the UNODC (United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime), he intensely interacted with the local people in Doi Tung, mingled and tried to understand their culture. The next step, he said, was to teach them skills that they need to survive. he recruited some of the local people and provided them with enough skills on farming and animal husbandry. Soon, the group passed their knowledge to others. And the job began.
For 17 years they have been working on acres of acres of opium poppy's field, trying to alter it into coffee plantation. And it worked! Now, eventhough the project has not final yet, Doi Tung area is famous for its coffee. Not only that, the people now live more positive life, leaving poverty behind with farms, plantation, hospitals, and school enough for 500 children.
Doi Tung project is a project that implementing Alternative Development's Policy to fight illicit cultivation of opium poppy and it works very well. Doi Tung project is the most successfull Alternative Development project in the world. Most importantly, with the success of this project, now the same project has been started in Myanmar and Afghanistan.
Mr. Diskul was one passionate person. In his 66, he still has this great spirit inside of him to make others' life better. To know more about his work, just go to one of my links on the left and spread the news. The workshop i attended last weekend was the first workshop to discuss the possibility of the establishment of the AD project in Indonesia and elsewhere. Hopefully, we can make it there. ..

Independence Day

2005-09-07T11:43:00.000+07:00

Perhaps it’s kinda late to talk about Independence Day. Anyway, approximately a month ago, I celebrated the 60th anniversary of my country’s independence day. That day was supposed to be a holiday for the nation but like other civil servants in Indonesia who still afraid* (*read: respect) the “invitation” and the presence percentage, I joined the ceremony at work.
Like the previous ceremonies, I believe, this one was also not solemn. Just like when we were kids, you preferred to stand in the back so you can sit occasionally or chatted with your neighbors. I remember I did that a lot but in the end I would pretend that I followed the ceremonies knowing that strict teachers were standing behind me… :) It was fun.
If calculated in hours, I think I have been spending more than one thousand hours to attend Independence Day ceremonies as long as i live. Yet, never had I filled my eyes with little tears like this year. Sounds stupid perhaps..but it happened, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
I remember when I was in The Hague, I was assigned to a meeting with my roommates. It was quite significant I recall, because you discussed peace-building alternatives in Indonesia with representatives from non-governmental organizations, other governments, Amnesty International, Newspapers, and friends from the RMS.
Many things were discussed but apparently the complicated situation in Aceh and Papua had been the favorite. We knew it was coming but what we did not expect was the harsh welcome from some parties.
Notice when you sit on a couch and watch news on TV where you hear how people protesting your government and swearing at your country. You could not blame others for what they believe in and think to be true and news is being observed as news. I was one of them and sometimes still am.
But things get different when you face it directly. It still clings in my head how people who supposed to be a part of us (at least that’s what some parties hope) disregarding and swearing their brothers and the place where they were born with the f*** word. It hurt. For a moment it surprised me that I hurt too by it. But when you stood representing your country in an international forum, you would understand how it really felt. You don’t have to be a diplomat or work for your government to represent your country. Simply by being a student abroad, or in a cultural exchange mission, or just as being a backpacker somewhere around the globe, or when you talk to a foreigner giving him direction, you already represent your country in whatever you do.
A couple of days ago, I was riding a bus on my way home from work when a man tried to earn some money by doing a monologue on the bus. It is always interesting when you see something new on a bus, something else than singing a song. I remember he yelled something about being independence and earning freedom. Somehow, it “annoyed” me, tingled one censor in my brain when he said “is this what we call as being independence and living in liberty when we still live in poverty?”
I personally understand that many people still live in poverty, but I disagree that liberty and independence have something to do with you being poor. America has earned its independence and liberty so many years ago and not all of its people are rich. Being poor has something to do with you being hard worker and a little bit of luck. Being poor has something to do with what you do in life. Just like being miserable has something to do with what do you want in life and how do you achieve it. Ck.. life’s tough.

Puppies

2005-08-10T13:02:00.000+07:00

brownies : kie, idung ku gatel kenapa ya?
blackie : sini aku garukin...

I hate that....

2005-08-01T16:39:00.000+07:00

A : "Sasa nggak sholat?"
Sasa: "Nggak"
B : "Bukan nggak ..tapi BELUM.."
Sasa: ....

Tidak penting kapan dan di mana itu terjadi, tapi satu hal yang membuatku "annoyed" is silly thoughts about religion. (Or AM I being silly?).

Komentar sederhana tapi sempat membuatku berfikir "kenapa hal seperti itu dibahas?". Ada yang salah dengan aku tidak sholat? I don't think so coz I'm Catholic. Ada yang salah dengan aku being a Catholic? I don't think so dan memang seharusnya tidak.

Komentar sederhana tapi sempat membuatku berkerut-kerut berfikir, "kenapa komentar seperti itu muncul?" -tanpa bermaksud menyinggung kelompok lain-, aku jadi berfikir "apakah maksud komentar itu adalah bahwa semua orang pada akhirnya seharusnya menjadi muslim?"

Secara pribadi, aku bukan seorang Katolik yang taat* (* baca: sering pergi ke gereja). Aku jarang ke gereja, bahkan seingatku terakhir ke gereja adalah tahun lalu atau bahkan dua tahun yang lalu. Aku tidak menganggap bahwa pergi ke gereja itu tidak penting, tetapi what i think is "You don't have to go to church to talk to God". If i go to church and what i do is just wandering and wondering and starring at boys or fancy women instead of concentrating my self to Him/Her, then why should I? I come from a mix family where wee have Catholic, Moslem, Hinduism, Protestant, and Kejawen. So, what kind of belief you have, even Atheism (Atheism? Personally i think that even an atheist DOES believe in something.), does not bother me at all. How do you want to worship God or what do you think of God is really up to you.

(What do you think of God?).. yes , what do you think about it/him/her. Mungkin ada yang berfikir bahwa there's no such thing as God. Boleh. Nothing's wrong with that. Personally, kajian tentang keberadaan Tuhan tidak akan ada habisnya dan bisa lebih berkembang seandainya kita tidak mematok pada 5 kepercayaan saja. Mungkinkah Tuhan itu benar laki2? Mengapa dia bukan perempuan? Atau jangan2 dia berkelamin ganda? (this i find a bit nuts..). Manusiakah dia? Mengapa kadang dia tidak boleh digambarkan?

I believe in God, although sometimes i find it weird to call it/her/him as "God". Mengapa kita tidak memberinya nama lain? Mengapa tidak kita beri nama dia "anu"?.

Komentar sederhana tapi bisa membuatku sampai saat ini tetap njelimet berfikir dan terheran-heran, "kenapa tidak kau biarkan saja setiap orang untuk bebas memilih kepercayaannya?" terlepas dari apakah yang dia percayai/imani itu ada atau tidak. After all, man made religion.

At Work...

2005-07-22T10:03:00.000+07:00

This is what happen at work....
(turn on the computer, double click logitech quickcam, pose, smile, cheers....., save as.., open www.photobucket.com, copy..., www.blogger.com, paste..., publish)

I love working hours... hehehe...

Mijn Definitie van Knap

2005-07-19T17:18:00.000+07:00

Dit is mijn definitie van knap.... erg knap.... ;)

Secret Heart...

2005-07-13T11:43:00.000+07:00

secret heart
what are you made of
what are you so afraid of
could it be
three simple words
all the fear of bein' overheard
what's wrong little man
ah a secret heart

secret heart
why so mysterious
why so sacred
why so serious
maybe you're just acting tough
or maybe you're just not man enough
what's wrong little man
oh your secret heart

this very secret
that you're tryin' to conceal
is the very same one
that you're dying to reveal
go tell 'em how you feel

secret heart
come on and share it
this loneliness few can bear it
could it have something to do with
admitting that you just can't go through it alone
little man
oh your secret heart

this very secret
that you're trying to conceal
is the very same one that you're dying to reveal
go tell 'em how you feel
this very secret heart
go out and share it

-- Feist --

My Gramma

2005-07-12T15:59:00.001+07:00

My gramma passed away last saturday
and i didn't cry for i had let her go long time ago when she was in so much pain from kidney failure.
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i didn't had the chance to tell her i love her.
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i miss her telling story
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i miss her already
My gramma passed away last saturday
and i think it is best that way.

Veronika Jumirah
in memoriam

Damian

2005-07-01T17:48:00.000+07:00

Out of no where...persistent yet sweet guy. I had no feeling what so ever when i first met him. In fact i wanted to get the hell out of there thanks to my "don't talk to stranger" kinda way of thinking. I thought that he was just some guy who like to flirt. Giving him my mobile number was just part of the chit chat. I was hoping that he would not call me but he DID ! and he asked me out. I did not know exactly why i said yes, probably because i wanted to be polite. I don't really like to hang out, so it was and is hard to drag me out of my house... :) But..... i had a good time. Although i thought that he was too soon to say "I love you". I'm sort of the slow slow slow type... I mean no need to rush something that perhaps already arranged by the Almighty, if HE did arrange it. I really was not attracted to him. We just met once, and calls after calls began to cheered up my nights. I don't have to tell the details but to make story short, i think i hurt him by not seeing him in the airport, never told him what i felt, didn't give him the chance to ??? ...etc..etc...etc...
Going back to indonesia, all i could think of was Damian. I thought by sending him emails about what i felt for him was a good idea but turned up that it could only hurt him more. Stupid Sasa.

I told him that there are so many obstacles on my side..my job, my nationality hahaha...etc... but i don't think that help too. Now, what bothers me the most is how he felt about that. I really want to ask him but i'm scared that i would hurt him again .... and again.... and again.... I told him that i might regret my decision, and i think i am...but it's just too complicated... i don't even know how to find the solution.

I want to hear his voice again, i miss hearing it. I miss getting emails from him. I miss his presistence. I miss everything about him. I even wonder a lot about the feelings to be with him. Damn Sasa...

But now, i don't know whether after all these things, after all that i've done, he would want to at least send me a short message. I don't know whether he would want me to be at least one of his far away friend that he ever met.

Do i miss him that much? Yes...
But i don't think he wants to hear from me again... My fault.

So....how is it gonna be?

2005-06-28T16:45:00.000+07:00

How is it gonna be?
Should I go home to visit my gramma?
Feeling guilty (agaiiiin....), sometimes i think that i never sincerely visit her. The last time i visited her because i wanted to go to see art festival with my friend yolla.....hahahaha....
And now, i doubt that i would go home only to visit her because in my mind poisoned with curiosity i want to make sure what that psychic said the other day. What a thought...
Anyway...i don't think that i can go home, because i have been in jakarta (work) less than a year meaning that i don't have the right for furlough. Damn....

Hocus Pocus....Wingardium Leviosa....

2005-06-27T15:36:00.000+07:00

My gramma is very ill at the moment. Basically my gramma is a diabetic and suffers from high blood pressure. A couple of months ago she complained that her stomach hurt and it turned up that she suffers from kidney failure.. and doctors said there’s nothing that we can do about it. Not even massive surgery. Stupid doctor.
My mom has the most beautiful hand in the world. Those hands fed me when I was a child, hold me when I cried, bathed me when I was covered with dirt, spanked my butt when I was bad, and combed my hair every morning before I went to school. Now, those hands feed my gramma, hold my gramma’s hand when she cries, comb her hair and bathe her every morning.
My mother still takes my gramma to the hospital twice a week for blood transfusion and etc. although we know what the doctor said. She does not give up trying.
Yet the point is a couple of days ago my mom went to see a psychic. She was asking about her condition and what the psychic told her was that my gramma would pass away next week, on July 12th. HOW SPOOKY IS THAT?
Not spooky because it concerns about death, but spooky because if what he said was true, it means that he somehow can predict the future. Well. At least in that case. And he said that there were two men who stood in front of my gramma’s bed room door wanting to take “something” out of her ear. Soon after the psychic left our house, my gramma who was sleeping in the other room said that she wanted her ear to be cut off. Crazy world…..
My mom, worrying about her daughter who might not get married because of her complicated job (that’s me…), apparently still had the extra time to ask that man about my future husband! I thought it was silly but still….I believe that curiosity is the weakness of human kind and indeed I fell into it again. To make the story short, he said that my soul matey is my co-worker..! What the….??!!
He MUST be joking..! Would I marry somebody from work? Pliiiizzzzzzzzzzzzz, NO. Meaning that I would not marry Bunny???!!! Or Damian maybe?!..which I still think so much about.. Damn…why can I just forget him…??!! I am cursed. I know it. Speaking of Damian and my silly browsing hobby, I found that Damian means sweet and harmless. CUTE...

Happy ...Three...Friends...

2005-06-23T17:15:00.000+07:00

Despite the fact that i'm very sleepy right now, and despite the fact that i really really really want to go home right now, also despite the fact that i want to have a week off for my self window shopping hehehe..... I actually can prevent my self from all temptations....(yeaaah right !)
Today is a pretty pretty happy day...not much of work to do..hahahahahaha, and i can eat something new for mijn lunch instead of meat balls. Mmy friends get confused sometimes why i always eat meatballs in the cafetaria.. Well, it's simple...nothing else delicious for me...
Anyway...i felt a bit guilty today (hate that when it happens !) to the political councellor of the embassy of india. Uuhm....why do we have to use "of" so often? I could just write the embassy of india's councellor right???? Anyway, i felt a bit guilty because i didn't give him satisfactory answer regarding india's candidacy in WCO. But, that's government calls dear.... what can i do about it..??
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING???!!!!! I must not talk about my job here !!!!!! Stupid Sasa. But, instead of publish it i could just erase it and voila..! Yet, considering the fact that i have been spending my precious working time to write in my blog...what the heck..i publish it anyway....haha

Vergadering a.k.a Meeting

2005-06-22T14:47:00.000+07:00

what to be prepared:

1. subject of interest
2. date, time, and venue
3. venue booking
4. invitation letter
5. invitation letter's revision I
6. invitation letter's revision II
7. invitation letter's revision III
8. invitation letter's revision IV
9. director's signature
10. address book, yellow pages, name cards, files
11. fax machine
12. dedicated thumb
13. snack order
14. telephone
15. 24 hours open eyes

Weet je waar damian is?

2005-06-22T08:24:00.000+07:00

Benci a.k.a Hatred

2005-06-20T14:01:00.000+07:00

My hatred has been decided by the panel meeting. There's a case on a mix marriage between an Indonesian female diplomat and a foreign citizen. Don't have to mentioned the names. It's already too painful for 'em, no need to add more.
The fact that i post this opinion of mine, not merely because i my self has a foreign citizen boy friend but more because i find the excuse to "discourage" (that is the term they use) female diplomat to have mix marriage is somewhat ridiculous. I'm not saying that what has been said about it is not true but it was more like adding some things to make your report to your boss longer. Unnecessary. I've done that my self...frankly speaking. It happens.
Anyway.... the fact that i cannot talk about it openly is killing me. The fact that i can post it where people can read it makes me nervous. What the heck..
Here's more or less what they say about the case (that might happen to me one day):
1. from human rights point of view, they cannot forbid anybody to get marry to somebody they love, which Ii completely agree.
2. from legal point of view, mix marriage between female diplomat and foreigner cannot be executed (what a term..) because of 2 regulations. First by the foreign ministry. Employees of foreign ministry have to ask permission to the minister meaning that the minister has the power to agree or disagree. Second, considering the Marriage regulation in Indonesia which gives difficult choices for woman who marry foreigners. Either to let go her nationality because automatically she would have her husband citizenship, bearing in mind that my beloved country does not recognize dual citizenship, or make her future husband to have naturalization, which is not as easy as push the one touch washing machine button.
3. from security point of view, diplomat execute both open and secret activities which require sense of awareness. Some concern that having mix marriage, female diplomat would not be able to do her tasks well. (A discriminating statement i would say... How about male diplomat? would they always do their job well so that they can have mix marriage?)
With lots of emotion building up inside me, i say that the main point of this delicate problem is merely because of patriarchy.

Me vs Sammy

2005-06-17T17:48:00.000+07:00

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people
I Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home

Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home (MICHAEL BUBLE)

I miss you Sammy....

One of my boring day.....

2005-06-16T18:34:00.000+07:00

Boring is:

feel sleepy with lots of works to do, need to go to places when the sun is at its hotest,get no sms at all, internet down all day, no snack on your desk,

longing to go home...

special day........really...

2005-06-13T10:23:00.000+07:00

Hehe...another kilo....sukses nee kayaknya...hopefully...

Anyway..this morning i was in a heart breaking dilemma..ck..ck..ck... How couldn't I? I was sitting in a bus on my way to work and the bus was full of people like usual monday morning. And, an old woman with her son in law, i think, and with her grandson standing all the way to mayhem...ck..ck..ck.. I usually sleep the minute i get into the bus, but this morning somehow was special...and i cursed my self for not being sleepy at all..!$#&&***#?

I was like "ok mam, give me 15 minutes to enjoy this seat"..kinda hoping for the others to give their seats instead of mine. But people are not stupid you know. I think they were playing possum hahaha.. So, there goes my 15 minutes of pleasure. It was just a seat but if you take a bus every day, then you would realize how precious a seat can be for you..even if you only get a very tiny spot for your big but.

Soooo.................it was monday morning, very crowded monday morning, like all mondays and i stupidly gave away my seat for her. Thanks to my easily feeling guilty, i took her place standing all the way to mayhem.

But then...i kinda relieved to give the seat, because her grandson threw up....Uhm....if only i chose to seat there and let the boy being held by his father standing next to me, i think those greeny things would be on my lap by now.....(not really pleasing imagination...)

This morning was special.....for God did not want me to ruin my new shirt.... ;)

Beyond my imagination...

2005-06-10T18:19:00.000+07:00

Beyond my imagination,...
that's what i have been saying to my self lately.
It struck my heart knowing that what i have been dreaming of, what i have been hoping for, what i have been wishing for...
slowly slipping away...

miu..miu...

2005-06-08T08:16:00.000+07:00

Uhmm......what to do, what to do....
I'm at work and still caught up with the translation of the ratification of the UPU constitution ck..ck..ck.. apaan tuh... Tomorrow i have to attend this meeting discussing the right translation...hihi...i hate that... I mean i know i have to, but the most annoying meeting would be correcting word by word....[feel sleepy already.....]

Today is gonna be the day....

2005-06-06T16:34:00.000+07:00

Hari ini senang sekali.... kerjaan lumayan dikit..hihi...banyak sih, tapi gak numpuk-numpuk gituh kayak biasanya... Terus, internet jalan, gak macet kayak yang laen..hihi.. Terus, aku gak jadi piket karena gak jadi nglembur ama mas koba ngurusin kontribusi...hihi..emang enaaak... Terus, turun sekilo lagi..hihi... walo gak kayak kemaren yang bisa 2 kilo... Terus, weekend kemaren aku sendirian..hihi... jadi bisa tidur ampe malem... Walo akhirnya daku bt sendiri semalem karena kebanyakan tidur jadi gak bisa tidur... Pokoknya, today is gonna be the day when i smile all the way.... amien...

Uhm...........miscellaneous..

2005-06-06T10:42:00.000+07:00

At work...as usual... (10.46 am)

Mau ngomongin apa ya?...bingung...actually there are lots of things to talk about but it's like suddenly you forget everything that you already pile up in your head. Or...perhaps it only happens to me..? Uhm...ginkgo biloba....
Anyway....sepertinya pembahasan mengenai duit seakan tiada akhir...maklumlah daku kan suka ngungkit-ngungkit masalah gituuuh..hehe...selain memang mata duitan...halah...
Tau nggak sih (pasti nggak..) jumat kemaren kan daku pulang ampe jam 12 malem tuuuh...thanks to perpisahannya pak dirjen m2. Terus karena bt di jalan, daku sms sendal jepit. SENDAL JEPIT gitu loooh... Padahal kan daku gak pernah akur ama dia..haha.. Eh tapi berguna juga aku sms sendal jepit. Karena networking will never fail boo... Apaan sih nee...gara-gara masuk deplu terus networking mulu omongannya... Masih untung daku gak ngomongin pencalonan ma kontribusi haiyaaa....
Anyhow.... aku jadi pengen marah...or lebih tepatnya nyesek tanpa bisa berkata-kata. Gimana gak mau marah...? Nenekku dah bolak-balik kayak setrikaan ke rumah sakit, abis 31 jt, cuma mamaku doank yang ngurusin...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pada ke mana sih orang-orang? Ato mungkin aku aja yang nggak tau kalo my aunts juga bantuin? Tapinya,kenapa coba..kenapa ...................................???? (kenapa apanya nih?). Kalo emang bantuin, kenapa mamaku masih kesusahan..? Masih minjem duit anaknya? Anaknya sih nggak keberatan sama sekali. Mari berandai-andai.... Seandainya aku punya duit 1 milyar ato 100 juta aja..nggak bakalan aku rela nyokapku yang bayarin semuanya.
Mana kang Sam pake bilang aku nggak usah nagihin utang orang lagee. Enak aja....orang namanya utang dan janji bayar ya harus dibayar donk ah.
Pokoknya sekarang mau ngumpulin uang yang banyak, biar kalo mama butuh aku bisa ngasih..

I miss you....

2005-04-27T14:39:00.000+07:00

Damian,
I miss you... I can't believe it... I actually miss you...

Sucks.....

2005-04-14T17:32:00.000+07:00

I feel like working with kindergarten students... Some not though. But some sucks bad.. I don't understand how can it be... working in the same unit but act as if you are working with the enemy.. Makes me want to puch her on the face..! She may be totally smart but she's a pain in the ass...jackass...

Voor U....

2005-03-10T14:39:00.000+07:00

Kijk me eens aan
had jij gedacht dat we hier samen zouden staan
zij aan zij
ik kan het niet geloven
hoe vaak ben ik niet bijna bij je weggegaan
of jij bij mij
maar steeds als je bijna buiten was
dan pakte ik je handen vast
en jij kwam terug
en steeds wanneer ik zei dat ik zou gaan
kwam jij me toch weer achterna
en nooit heb ik spijt gehad
nooit een moment

dus waarom zeg je me nu dat het over is
en waarom weet je het zeker
als het water ons samen tot de lippen stond
of een van ons tweeen het niet leuk meer vond
was er altijd die ander
die zachtjes zei
ik hou zo veel van jou

kijk me eens aan
we hebben samen zo vaak in de storm gestaan
in de zee
met huizenhoge golven
we waren sterker dan de krachtigste orkaan
met z'n twee
steeds als ik haast verdrinken zou
dan klampte ik me vast aan jou
en jij was daar
of ik kwam naar je toe en ving
jou op wanneer je bijna onderging
en nooit heb ik spijt gehad
nee, nooit een moment

en waarom zeg je me nu dat het over is
en waarom weet je het zeker
als het water ons samen tot de lippen stond
of als een van ons tweeen het niet leuk meer vond
was er altijd die ander die dan zachtjes zei
ik hou zo veel ...
van jou

Marco Borsato

Bored......

2005-03-08T09:04:00.000+07:00

I'm bored.. i'm sleepy.. I miss sammy. I haven't heard from him since valentines. Anyway.. i find it strange that i miss Damian instead. I'm cursed hahahahahahaha... I think about him lately. How is he doing now. What's he doing . How is his thesis. Is he still mad at me? He never reply my emails. Perhaps he already forget about me. Perhaps he didn't even mean all the things he said. I do hope though that he would be happy.

Geen idee

2005-03-08T08:55:00.000+07:00

Looking back.....

2005-03-08T00:55:00.000+07:00

I'm thinking about my friends in college lately. I miss the days when we hung out together. When we went to eat together. I miss the days when we travel a lot to small cities and exciting places with our motorbikes. I miss spending time in beaches and mountain range with them. I miss the day when we skipped class...hahahaha.. skipping class. I hardly remember the last time i did that.
When i was in high school i could NOT skip class...not even once. My high school was a private one for girls only. I remember the principal was sooooooo mean..... She was and still and would always be a nun. I miss high school days too. We could not skip class because of those dedicated guards...hahahaha.. I love my high school. Although i could only flirt (did I?) with the male teachers, but i never regret it.
Now things change. Every body leaves eventually. Sometime i wish that things are the same as they used to be. Naaaa... that's not possible. But since i always believe that everything is possible except if you want to be God,..than i think it's possible that things can be the same as they used to be. Uhm... how can we do that? If i want to make things static, does it mean that i'm playing God? Uhm... it's not possible then. But it's possible with ashton kutcher in butterfly effect hahahahahaha...
I'm going home to my hometown this weekend, and i'm going to meet my old friends. I'm happpyyyyy................I'm going to spend my weekend with them. But not all of them i guess. I had and hopefully still have 12 close friends when i was in college. But like i said before, things change. Some of them have changed..and perhaps so do i. We're getting apart with reasons that i don't understand. Just like i would not understand the reason why Damian chose not to contact me anymore. I always hurt him with my words..but if only he knew me, he would know by now that i'm a sarcastic...lol... And perhaps that's my fault too..not giving him the chance to know me.
And so.. why didn't i let him know me? Sam, that's why. I want damian as a friend because my heart is occupied. I wished he understood how hard it was and is for me fighting for the most important thing in my life. It's hard.. and painful. Uhm...and why am i talking about damian again..?

Sick and Tired...

2005-02-02T10:57:00.000+07:00

I'm sick..... and tired...
I have a headache... and i don't get enough sleep at night. I still have this jetlag from my journey to Holland. I wonder how pilots, co polits, and stewardess deal with it...supreme people !!! I'm so proud of you...
Today, it's not really a good day for me. Not that i disgraceful to the Almighty who has given me a lot..but really... i don't feel well... i almost throw up on a bus this morning..
Soon, i'll start my "real" job. I think i would not really gonna like it... somehow i can smell the bad odor of the environment and i hate that... especially the fact that i'm not gonna make this job as my life time carreer or whatever...
I need some time off...
I need Sam...

Tsunami Donation for Southeast Asia

2005-01-13T18:52:00.000+07:00

The earthquake and tsunami happened in Aceh which have been costing lots of damages in other areas such as Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, Maldives and even East Africa really breaking my heart as an Indonesian. No body wants that to happen especially the people of Aceh who have sufferred a lot before,... but still i'm amazed at what the mother nature can do to us. Even at the moment, when i'm in Leiden - The Netherlands, winter is not that much of a cold. It's like spring. As a tropical person, I feel lucky not to experience the coldness of winter, but on the other hand, i also wonder, what's wrong with the weather...what is happening...

Living in other part of the world while working with the government after this tsunami disaster I learn that lots of people here in the Netherlands want to give aid. Every single day the phone in my office ringing from lots of people asking about how can they give their donation, how can they get visa to go to Aceh as volunteers and so on. It's really pleasing and soothing to know that we actually have bunch of generous people out there. But it turns out that nothing is free....really... not even for humanity.

Donation does not only come from genuine individuals but also from big corporations or foundations or bussinessmen, or NGOs. As much as you need the aid, when working with the government you have to realize that things are so political. There's always a catch. Strings attached. No body gives donation for free...nobody... not even when you want to help your dearest friends. You may not ask them anything now, but face it..you will remember the day you have helped them and hope that in the future they would help you when you're in need. I admit it.

In the case of tsunami and the earthquake in Aceh... those people suffer a lot. They have been living with danger from separatist movement, from a very disturbing, unconvinient life surrounded by men in arms....and now from a blast natural disaster. Now world's eyes are on them racing to help with hopes that they would get something in return in the near future. Although you cannot always blame them for taking advantages and benefits, it makes me sad and as naive as i am..it makes me wonder, why can we, you, and I help others in the name of humanity without asking anything in return ?

First Day of Blog Creating...

2005-01-13T16:56:00.000+07:00

Leiden, January 13 2005

In the middle of my effort in trying to finish the reports i'm assigned to... i find it interesting to start my own blog.. So here we go...